


Princess at Sea (NOT ACTIVE, SEE VERSION 2)

by DoctorCutekin (ProfoundlyInLove)



Series: At Sea With You is Where I Belong [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Curse, Cursed Emma, F/M, Memory Alteration, On the Run, Pirate Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Princess Emma Swan, True Love, True Love's Kiss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-03-09 06:51:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3240326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfoundlyInLove/pseuds/DoctorCutekin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>THIS IS NOT THE CURRENT VERSION OF THE STORY.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1: Set it Ablaze

**Author's Note:**

> Multi chapter fic. No Curse AU.  
> M rating for Future Chapters.  
> Cross Posting to Fanfiction under FirstmateSwan
> 
> This story is completely planned out, I just need motivation sometimes. Feel free to bother me on my tumblr (firstmateswan.tumblr.com) Sometimes I post tidbits of my fics and all sorts of Emma/Hook adventures.

A/N: This story will contain acts of violence, nudity, and sex scenes. You’ve been warned.

Chapter 1: Set it Ablaze

**  
  
**

It was when she watched her bedroom engulf in flames, that she realized that this wasn’t only a new beginning, but it was an ending. 

Emma received the note three days before her 20th birthday, warning her that the Evil Queen was coming for her on her birthday. Now it was the eve of her birthday, and Emma knew exactly what had to happen. If she was going to stay alive and protect her family, she had to leave. To prevent anyone from using magic to follow her, she set her room ablaze. The smoke grew thick much faster than she ever imagined, forcing her to make her escape through the balcony.

As she ran past guards and villagers, she ignored every sound around her. She ran for days, with rest few and far between. It wasn’t until she crossed borders that she slowed down. Emma ventured into lands she’d never seen before, filled with a darkness she never knew existed. There has yet to be a time that she stayed anywhere longer than a days time, filled with fear that somehow the Evil Queen would find her. 

The fire in her heart died the day she ran from home, and nothing has been able to reignite it since.

Five Years Later

The ocean rocked the ship as if it were a rocking chair in a childs nursery, calming Emma in a way she hadn’t experienced in what felt like a lifetime. Out on the sea was the only place in the realm that she ever felt safe. With no land in sight and her name yet to be uttered in five years time, it felt like a blanket of protection. 

For the first time in years, Emma was sailing towards the Enchanted Forest. Something about the place seemed to be calling out to her, and this time she couldn’t quiet the urge. Her homeland was the most dangerous place for her to ever venture, but a part of her knew she had to do it. Though Emma knew she could get no where near the palace. Partially because she feared to be recognized, but mostly because she knew her parents had moved on. Less than two years after her disappearance, her parents had another baby. A boy they’d named Neal. He was now the sole heir to the throne, only three and a half and yet the world was at his fingertips. Part of her wanted to hate them for replacing her so easily, but she knew she never could.

Emma walked across the deck of the boat, calm until someone started shouting from somewhere behind her. “Pirates! Pirates to the East!” The simple phrase seemed to send fear through the crew. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d encounter pirates. Some were worse than others, but they were the easiest to pay off for passage between kingdoms. Thankfully all her sword training with her father as a child paid off.

“Get the lady off the god damned deck!” The Captain shouted, drawing a sword. Emma couldn’t help but roll her eyes and steal a sword from the sailor who tried to usher her below deck.

“I don’t think so, buddy.” Emma threatened, pointing the sword at the man whos eyes grew stormy with anger. But before he could launch at her, the ship was shot at, throwing them both against the wall of the ship, knocking the man out cold.

Within moments the ship was being boarded, while Emma struggled back to her feet.

“Surrender and you won’t be harmed! Men, search the ship and bring me anything of value!” Someone shouted, Emma guessed the Captain of the attacking ship. He sounded cocky, over sure of himself. One day that will be what kills him, she’s sure.

Seconds pass before she’s met with two of his sailors who have the same look in their eyes as every pirate she’s ever seen. Greed. 

She held the sword out in front of her, trying to look as threatening as possible. They lunged at her without a second thought. Quickly, she brought the hilt down onto one of their shoulder blades, effectively bringing him to the ground with a groan. Immediately after she swung the sword at the second one, slashing through his side before she knocked him back with her foot.

The first jumped up and managed to slash her back open, yet she whipped around and shoved him against the wall so hard that he didn’t try to stand again. Her long painful injury was currently being hid by her long blonde hair.

When she moved past them, she unintentionally locked eyes with the pirate Captain who quickly lit up with a sloppy smile that seemed to make him seem much younger.

“Well hello there, Love. Having fun?” He asked, far too happy. She quickly looked around her to see that the crew were all disarmed on their knees. She was the only one who fought for their life.

“You seem to have taken down a few of my men, I must say I’m impressed. Bit of a spitfire, aren’t you?” His question mocking while his smile was bright. But when she looked into his eyes she didn’t see greed. Only pain. 

“You have no idea.” She said, knocking away the man who was trying to sneak up behind her.

“Interesting,” He grinned, looking her up and down with moderate interest. “You have two choices, lass. Come with us, or walk the plank. Which will it be?” His head cocked to the side in amusement as he watched Emma try and categorize every option before coming to her answer.

“I’d rather not die today, Captain.” She said simply as she walked forward with the sword still in hand. He motioned for her to walk across the board that was now connecting the two ships. He was only two steps behind her, quickly passing her, his hand touching her back for a moment. Only she noticed it wasn’t a hand, but a hook.

“You’re Captain Hook.” She said, her eyebrows slightly raised. 

“Oh, so you’ve heard of me.” He said jokingly. Because of course she had. It wasn’t as if she were living under a rock. While she did live in the Dark Forest for three months, but you still hear stories. Especially ones of the most dastardly pirate in all the realms.

When she stepped foot on the Jolly Roger, all eyes were on her. The whole crew was on deck, watching her every move. It unsettled her, them looking her up and down like she was their newest collection of booty to be shared. 

Once Captain Hook was at her side, the glares seemed to die down, and then he spoke. “We now have a guest on this ship, lads. This means you treat her with the most respect and honor that this young lady deserves. You will not harm her, hell, you will not touch her. If I find any wrong doings are happening behind my back, you are to walk the plank! Do you understand me?” He shouted, his voice lacking the light humor filled tone that it had only moments ago.

“M’lady, I will escort you to your cabin. It’s across the hall from my own, so if you ever need anything come knocking. Dinner is at sunset every night. I’ll collect you tonight when that time comes. If you ever need anything while I’m occupied, feel free to call for the cabin boy. His name is Henry. Be kind to the boy, that’s all I ask.” The Captain said, his words rushed and seemingly nervous, bouncing around on his feet as he brought Emma below deck where their bedrooms were located. He opened the door to the left and waited for her to enter.

“If you need me, I’ll be in the Captains cabin, m’lady.” The Captain smiled before closing the door behind her.

The guest cabin was small, with one wall being all windows. The bed was small, and hard. She was not looking forward to sleeping in here. But the walls were bright and soft curtains for the windows. Theres a separator covering a corner of the room where a nice white bathtub lies along with towels and soap. To the side was a wardrobe that held womens dresses of all colors and worths. 

Emma quickly decided she was going to take a bath because she felt sickenly dirty and wasn’t eating dinner with the Captain for the first time in a dress she’d worn the entire boat ride to the Enchanted Forest. She peaked out of her cabin door and all but whispered his name, “Hook?” 

She waited a moment before she finally stepped out of the room and knocked on his door with care, hoping she wasn’t bothering him. Though she was certain she was, he is the Captain after all. She heard scuffling before his door opened lightly. 

“I am in need of your assistance, Captain, and it’s a sensitive matter.” She said, her cheeks burning under his joyful gaze. 

“What can I do for you, Love?” He said, his voice was nearly… compassionate. Understanding.

“I need you to boil me a bath and then… assist me.” She choked out those last words. It wasn’t that she liked the Captain, it was more that Emma trusted his crew about as much as she could throw them.

“Well dear, if you wanted to bed me all you had to do was ask,” He chuckled, looking Emma up and down. 

Emma rolled her eyes and turned around to her door. Just as she’s about to open it, he finally says, “I’ll be in momentarily, Love.” She let out a sigh of relief as she re entered her room. She was no looking forward to this. Captain Hook assisting her bathing? That had to be the craziest story she’s ever heard.

Unfortunately she needed him. Her injury was growing more painful by the moment and she’s unsure if she could give it the attention it needs. So instead she shrugs off her torn and bloody clothes and wraps herself in a robe she found in the wardrobe, waiting for Hook to return with the water.

Minutes pass before Killian is swinging open the door and pouring an obscene amount of water in the tub, and when he finishes he goes and closes the door shut for privacy. 

“So, M’lady, how may I  assist  you today?” Killian asked, his words practically dripping and oozing sex. 

Emma sighed, braiding her hair into a crown around her head so it would be out of the way. Then she turns her back to him before lowering the robe to the very top of her ass. She heard a slight groan before Killian said, “ Bloody hell lemme look at that for a moment. Get in the tub and I’ll bring some supplies in for you.” Suddenly he was gone. She let the robe drop to the floor gracelessly before settling into the steaming water. It made her ripped flesh burn but the pleasure the hot water brought to her senses was too enthralling to get out.

While Hook was gone, she started to scrub her skin with the grainy soap that smelled of the ocean. 

When the door opened again, Emma automatically went to cover herself despite the separator. He peeked around it with a lazy but concerned smile. He dropped all of the tools he’d need next to the tub on the floor. He sat behind her head, so close it felt like her senses were on fire.

“Lean forward, Swan.” He said gently, touching her naked shoulder to give her a slight push. 

“Swan?” She asked as he poured a fiery liquid down her back. She bites back the pain, “What the hell was that?” She asked seething.

“It’s rum, and it’s a bloody awful waste of it if you ask me.” He joked, ignoring her other question. His touches too her back were gingerly and compassionate. It was like every touch was the most intimate act he could ever do with her. 

Apparently the Captain isn’t as dastardly as they say.

When she hissed in pain, he pulled away from the gaping wound and placed his hand on her waist with such care that it almost unnerved her. But she couldn’t help but melt into the touch. 

“I suggest you drink all of this because what we have to do is going to hurt, Love.” Killian said compassionately as he gave her his flask full of rum. She gratefully flooded her senses with spiced rum and the smell of the ocean.

Soon he began threading a needle through her back as if she were a shirt in need of a mending. Every time she hissed in pain he would stop and offer her his hand which she always took. Emma wasn’t sure why it brought her so much comfort considering she’s as anti-loving as it gets.

“I promise you, Swan, that I won’t let anyone hurt you like this again.” Hook said quietly, “And I always keep my promises.” 

Everything was deafeningly quiet as Hook finished up. When he was finished, his hand was still on her back, gently rubbing it with his good hand, while the hook was buried into the floor. (‘ Because I don’t want to float away from whatever dream this is.’) 

“I’ll see you at sunset, love.” Was all that he said as he exited, leaving her naked, confused, and alone.

**  
  
  
**


	2. Dinner for Two

**A/N: I will be posting about once weekly (Unless I finish early) Also send me messages at my blog firstmateswan.tumblr.com (ask questions about the story, predictions, any ideas you’d love to see play out, that sort of thing) Also send some prompts, I’d love some! (Captain Swan, Outlaw Queen, Snowing, Frankenwolf, ect)**

**PS. I had two people guess with extreme accuracy components of this story. But don’t worry, I have some surprises up my sleeve.**

**P.P.S Check out the tumblr tag for this fic #SecondTimeAround**

Chapter 2: Dinner for Two

It was when she was left alone that embarrassment hit like a wave of nausea. The Captain, literally the man who forced her onto this ship, just saw her naked and completely vulnerable. Emma stood and wrapped a dark red cloak around her bare body, trying to ignore the way his fingers felt like fire on her skin. Her wet hair was stuck to her back as droplets of water ran down her leg.

Behind her, the dimming sunlight was flooding into the small room, and the ocean seemed to go on forever without a thing in sight.

Not wanting to waste away in her own emotions, Emma stands up straight despite the pain sent down her back. With a little too much force she throws open the wardrobe to look for something that would fit. She was far from picky these days, food had become more important than a long gown or a fresh cloak.

Quickly she pulled on the second gown she saw, it was thin and slightly loose. A deep blue color that reminded her of the pond that had been outside her window as a child. She used to see swans swim in the waters, graceful and beautiful. Sometimes she’d sneak down and sit on the waters edge just to watch them float upon the water.

Emma paced back and forth, most likely wearing a hole through the floorboards. The room was so bare, with not a thing to do. Though going out and venturing the Jolly Roger alone sounded like a possible death sentence. The only thing in the room that held her interest was the book shelf that had more books than she’d seen in many years. All the spines were worn from many uses, most likely much treasured books.

On the inside of the most worn book had a message written inside of it.

_Mother would have wanted you to have this_

_Liam_

She knew better than to ask anyone who Liam was, or whose book it even was. It’s even possible the books were picked up along their travels. Emma prefered her tongue in her mouth rather than nailed to the mast.

Absent mindedly, Emma picks up another book that felt familiar in her hands. The way it fit in her palms, and how the smell felt like home. On the inside cover were three words written in beautiful script,

_For My Swan._

Shaking her from her thoughts, there was a knock on the thick wooden door before it swung open. “Excuse me, miss, my names Henry. Captain asked me to show you around. If you’re up to it, that is.” The boy asked. He was young, younger than any pirate she’d ever seen. Her heart throbbed in her chest, barely keeping her mouth shut when she wants to ask why a boy so young was a pirate.

“Oh yes, I’d love to.” Emma said weakly, barely able to muster a smile on her face. She was sure he knew she was forcing it. Two paces behind Henry, they exit the room and turn at the end of the short tight hallway where the light became non existent. Next to her a light brought the dingy room to color. Even with the light of the lamp Henry was holding, it was a dreary dark place she would rather not visit.

“This is where the brig is. Hopefully you never have to come down this way. To the right is the treasure room, which only Captain can access.” Henry said simply as he pulled her up a set of stairs up onto the deck of the ship.

“And here is where all the action is. Honestly I don’t expect you up here too much but Captain said you’re welcome to. And you have to come up here to get down to the Galley on the other side of the ship where that door leads, and the crews quarters are currently directly below us,” He continued, pointing at the door that lead into a small room where the stairs were. Though Emma’s attention was drawn towards the duel going on towards the railing of the ship. She didn’t recognize the men, but she saw the Captain watching boredly from the helm.

“So what should I call you now, because I have a feeling you’d get annoyed by being called M’lady for the remainder of your stay,” Henry chuckled, noting where her attention lied. He didn’t blame her, every other woman whose eyes landed on the Captain were star struck. He most certainly preferred her to all the woman that he’d paraded around the ship before he’d ever met her.

“Call me Swan, I rather like that.” The name brought a bright smile to the boys face, like she was part of an elaborate inside joke.

The sunset over the ocean was glorious. It always had been. Ever since the moment she first stepped on a merchant ship sailing to Arendelle. She never got to spend time on ships as a princess, Emma tended to be landlocked and stuck behind castle walls no matter the kingdom.

Now that she’s had a deep breath of sea water and a taste of freedom, she knew she could never go back.

“Are you ready for dinner?” A gruff voice asked from behind her. Hook. She didn’t say a word, just watched the waters in front of her.

With a shuffle, Hook sat down next to her, allowing his legs to dangle between the railings off the edge of the ship. They sat in silence for a while, food in the Captains cabin growing cold. There was barely any scuffle behind them, the crew having been told to make themselves scarce at sun down.

“What were you doing on that ship, lass?” Hook asks curiously, breaking the silence. Emma turns her head to face him. His stormy eyes were trained on her like beacons cutting through fog. The intensity made her stomach flip, she smiled at him nervously, sure that he’d be able to cut through her lies.

“I was travelling to the Enchanted Forest.” She said honestly, shrugging, hoping that he wouldn’t ask for an explanation because she was sure she would sound insane.

“Beautiful place for a beautiful lady.” Hook shrugged as he retrieved a flask from a pocket on the inside of his leather jacket. Taking a long drink before offering her a drink. She graciously accepted, because anything that could numb her thoughts was welcome these days.

“What were you doing out this way?” Emma asked carefully, taking another sip before passing the flask back to Hook. He took it without looking back at her as he stuck it back on the inside of his jacket. Silently he raised his hook above his head and hung it around the railing comfortably. His sigh was unmistakable. Pain.

“I was searching for something I lost,” He said, sounding uneasy. His eyes refused to meet hers as if she’d been the source to all his pain. Emma didn’t know what to do, so she simply asked “Did you find it?”

“Aye, I did.” Was all he said. It was mysterious and vague but it pulled her like a magnet to him. She put a hand on his, letting it rest there without ever mentioning it.

“I’m glad, Hook.” Her smile came easy, much easier than it had in many years. If she didn’t know better, she’d say the same for him.

“Killian,” He said carefully, refusing to move his hand as if he knew it would scare her off like a timid animal.

“What?”

“My name is Killian, call me that.” He mumbled by something she couldn’t quite understand. (‘I never liked it when you called me Hook.)

“Alright, Killian.” She smiled, pulling her hand back to her body slowly. All the fire in her fingers died in that moment. Disappointment flooded her veins but she refused to let her show such a thing. Getting lovesick over some pirate she’d only met today was far too wanton for her tastes. Emma still held herself to standards that had been engraved in her since birth. Those of a Princess.

“So, Swan, I think I ought to change those bandages for you. I wouldn’t wish any illness on you,” Killian said, sounding sincere and he pulled himself to his feet by his hook. Quickly he offered Emma his hand to help her to her own feet. She smiled at him carefully, nervousness washing over her. It had been easier to convince herself to undress in front of him when she had a potentially life threatening wound. But now she knew nothing would be her undoing today, and that terrified her.

“I’m sure I’m fine, Captain. Don’t worry about me,” She said, her eyes darting anywhere but him.

“Love, I insist.” He said firmly, offering her his hand. Something in her chest thumped as if it were screaming at her to take his hand. Emma internally compartmentalized, shoving that desire into a box that would never be opened again. So instead she brought herself to her feet and pushed the budding feelings deep down where they may as well never be seen again.

“Show me the way then, Captain,” She mumbled, showing no amusement on her face that had been there only moments before. Killian hid his frown under a comical smirk as he lead her back to his cabin. A part of him hoped that Smee had… done away with Plan A. When he opened the cabin door he sighed with regret. Of course the rat hadn’t.

Candles on the table had melted down to nubs, barely keeping the room alight. The food had grown long cold and unappetising. Frankly, Killian surprised himself when he was able to shake his emotions of embarrassment. Swan was smiling, looking only a bit guilty. Knowing her there were probably dozens of emotions lying underneath, but Killian wouldn’t allow himself a look. She may be an open book to him, but for now it was a book she wouldn’t forgive him for reading.

Killian quickly blew out the candles before lighting a lamp, and then cleaned up the mess while Emma took a seat at the small table next to the window. As he cleared the untouched food, Killian scolded himself for the stolen glances. The last thing he wanted was to spook the beautiful Swan.

“So Captain, what was this treasure you’d lost?” Emma asked, tracing her fingers along the ridges in the wooden table. Killian’s breath audibly hitched and his face grew trouble if only for a moment before he regained composure.

“Now, now, Swan. Sometimes secrets make things all the more funner.” He taunted hardheartedly, motioning for her to come over and sit on the edge of the bed as he retrieved the bandages. It felt like butterflies and pixies were dancing around in her chest. She watched him rifle through a cabinet for supplies with a care she hadn’t expected.

“Love, there is a cloak in the far wardrobe that I’m sure will fit you, if you wish to cover yourself during this process.” Killian spoke without meeting her gaze. She nodded, and silently went to the wardrobe. Like the one in her room it was filled with dresses. These more simple but surely elegant. She couldn’t help but wonder whose they were but she thought better to not ask.

Soon she found the cloak he was speaking of, it was beautiful. The clasps were a swan joined by a hook around the neck. She shivered, trying to shrug all her questions away.The long black cloak felt like it was made for her. While his back was turned she quickly pulled her dress down so he could access her wound. Even under the cloak she felt naked and absolutely vulnerable. Every gaze he cast her felt like it was searing through her infamous walls that she’d built to protect her. As if there were a door made just for him.

_Stop it!_ Her thoughts screamed at her as Killian strode back to her with bandages and rum in hand.

“Please tell me you’re not going to pour that down my back.” Emma said weakly, eyeing Killian nervously.

“Relax, love. This here is for us.” He said, shaking the bottle for good measure before taking the longest drink he could manage. He needed to be drunk or else the moment she leaves would ruin him.

“Oh is it now?” She smiled as he pushed the cloak off her back, making sure she was covering everything else. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel uncomfortable.

“Of course. My rum is your rum, love.” Killian chuckled as he pulled the old bandages away. His stitch work was holding well, thankfully. As long as she doesn't rush into battle, she’ll be fine. Although keeping her from danger had always seemed impossible.

Emma smiled gratefully when she took the bottle from him as he started to re bandage her back gently. She would have never expected such care from the terror that is Captain Hook.

Then again, this is Killian Jones.

They sat in silence, passing the rum back and forth for what seems like hours. The bandaging long finished and yet neither of the moved away. Killian’s hand still rested between her shoulder blades, his thumb tracing over her skin carefully.

_This must be what it’s like to be cherished._

__

She shook the thought away violently, mad at herself for ever thinking such a thing. With a life like hers, there was no room or chance to be cherished and she long forgot about her wishes for such a thing. Yet here was someone trying to change her ways of thinking in one simple gesture.

“Why in God’s name are you so damn nice to me, _Hook_?” She asked accusingly, looking at him with anger as if he’d called her all the awful names under the sun and stars.

Killian retracted his hand violently as he stood up and away from her, “There you go Swan, building those walls so high up that you can’t see the truth anymore!” He yelled exasperated. She quickly covered herself with the cloak as she stood to walk out, her face read ‘Disgusted’ all over it.

“It’s not like I have all the reason to trust you of all people, Hook!” She yelled in response, already half way to the door.

“Well maybe you do, did you ever bloody think of that, woman?” He yelled back, his face showing every emotion that crossed it, Pain, Hurt, Betrayal, Loss, Love.

“What the hell is that ever supposed to mean?” She asked, dumbstruck. “You kidnapped me off my ship and now you expect me to just trust you?”

“I was hoping so, yes! Do I really mean nothing to you?” He asked, his voice breaking, emotionful and raw.

“Why would I do that, Pirate?” Emma yelled as she yanked open the cabin door, about to storm out.

“Because we were in love once, you thick headed _Princess_!” He shouted, hoping those few words would draw her back. Even if it were just to yell at him some more. In his mind, endless fighting was better than the distance they’d had between them since the day she’d left.

Emma stopped dead in her tracks and looked at the Pirate Captain in shock.

“Don’t speak of things you have no understanding of, _Pirate_.” She spat out before leaving the room in fury.

When Emma retreated to her room, she let her lean against the door in shock. She had no idea what was going on anymore. Emma was in love once, but it certainly wasn’t with that.. that Scoundrel! It had ended painfully and left her alone in the world. She wouldn’t let that happen again.

But before she built her walls to the ceiling, she let herself cry. Let herself long for home. Except you can’t long for home when you don’t know where it lies any longer.

**  
  
**


	3. Chapter 3: Protect Your Mother

**Chapter 3: What True Heartbreak feels like**

****  
  


**A/N Sorry about this guys. I had a pretty severe concussion and ended up in the hospital. I had to stay home for five days and was supposed to not watch tv, text, write, read, or even use a computer. I couldn’t even take my ACT. And then I got stood up. So please don’t hate  me.**

**In response to some reviews, basically, you guys are pretty damn smart. Not on the pin, but still damn smart.**

**Mostly a Hurt/Comfort chapter but a lot of important stuff happens.**

**FYI, there is no actual Swanfire in this fic. Let that be known.**

**PS. Starting a 100 fic, if you guys are interested in knowing what its about just tell me!**

One Week Later

The week had been pure misery. Killian had thought the year separated her had been torture, but having to watch her avoid him like the plague hurt more than any loss he’d experience. At least then he’d been able to mourn their loss, but now he had to watch her walk around his ship like she owned the place and yet hate him every moment of every day.

If Killian were honest, the only thing keeping him sane at all was that he was making Henry report back to him at the end of each day to ensure she was doing alright. He was like a son to Killian and a part of him felt horrible for putting him in that situation, knowing how painful it had to be, but the other part of him said to hell with it all. For such a young boy, he was much wiser and stronger than Killian thought himself to be.

The only contact they’d had was when he would change her bandages at the end of the day in utter silence. If she didn’t wish to speak to him, he wouldn’t force her. He knew better.

Except he was supposed to change Swan’s bandages hours ago. She refused to open the door, screamed bloody murder when he tried to get in. But what had Killian standing at her cabin door in the middle of the night were the sobs. So soft that they were barely heard, but with him attempting to sleep next door it was impossible to miss.

When he knocked on the door, he was concerned she wouldn’t hear it because it was so unoticeable. But he knew she had when the wrecked sobs stopped instantly. The silence was nearly deafening as Killian stood outside the door, deciding whether to talk or bust his way through.

Thankfully he didn’t have to come to a decision, as the door inched open to reveal a broken Swan. Her eyes were red and puffy and her lips drawn into a tight line as she stared Killian down. It was like she was torn between pulling him in, or pushing him out.

“What do you want, Killian?” She asked quietly, refusing to let her voice break in front of him.

He took a deep breath, “Let me in, Swan.” Was all he said. Emma wasn’t sure if he meant into the room, or through her own walls. Tonight, she just agreed. Walls can be rebuilt. Breathing deeply to settle herself, she pulled Killian into the room gently. She’d led him in before setting herself down on the bed before looking up to where he was standing at the edge of her sheets.

The way he looked at her made her shiver, his intensity enough to make her glance away. It seemed like his eyes were the only thing bringing light into the room, despite the windows lining the wall with moonlight streaming in.

When Emma looked back at the Captain, he was still staring. Her heart leapt in her chest as he spoke, “Tell me what’s going on, Swan. Please.” He said, almost like begging. But she didn’t say anything, only motioned for him to sit next to her. His movements were slow, but she calmed as she felt the bed sag under his weight, and his warmth reached her skin. Emma leaned into him, as tears threatened to spill again.

“I was…” She stopped, looking up at him to make sure there was no insincerity in him before continuing. “I was pregnant, and I lost the baby… Today, one year ago.”

Killian felt like all the air had been sucked out of him, and he couldn’t breathe as he felt Emma cry into his shoulder. It took everything in him to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight, because his mind was screaming at him to go push the window open and hurl. Or scream and cry for everything he’s lost, even just shut down and never move again.

But he didn’t. Instead he held his Swan tight against him, and silently let his own tears escape him.

She’d been pregnant when he lost her. He’d lost the love of his life, and his child in one swift blow. He felt like he’d never recover. She was shaking in his arms, weak and shaking like a leaf. It was something Killian rarely ever saw in all the years he’d known her. She was a strong woman who didn’t need anyone to ever protect her, and now she was breaking in his arms.

It broke him.

“I had been with a man. His name was Neal.. We’d been in love, I thought it was true love. But he was trouble. Hell, I was trouble. But he did something horrible, and pinned the blame on me. I had to run. I never stopped moving, constantly on the run. During that time, I lost him.. I like to think he was a boy. I would have named him Liam.” Her voice was low, barely a whisper as she retold her story, or what she thought was her story.

Liam. She would have named him Liam. That struck Killian like lightning, because it meant that a deep part of her knew of her past.. Because she was strong.

Killian was pressing soft tearful kisses against her golden hair when she pulled away slightly, stopping Killian’s breathing. Their faces were inches away, both of their faces wet and pained when Emma closed the distance between them.

It wasn’t the kind of kiss Killian was used to. Usually she was passionate and wanting, filled with fire. But this.. This was a whole new experience. It was overflowing with sorrow, guilt, neediness and pain. Killian was an object to push away the pain.

For now, that was enough.

He deepened the kiss, slowly pushing her down onto the blankets, holding her carefully like she may break under his fingertips. Her fingers trailed up his skin, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She was rough and begging while he was soft and careful.

She pulled away, gasping for air when she whispered, “Make me feel loved.”

He looks at her, the same broken look in his eyes. “You always are.”

~~~~

**  
  
**

When he awoke in the morning, light was flooding the room, nearly blinding him. She was wrapped up in his arms, finally looking at peace in her sleep. Gently, he pushed golden hair away from her face, trying not to think.

But he knew they were pulling into port today, which meant leaving these four walls. Killian just hoped he’d be able to convince her to come.

“Captain, we’re approaching port!” Someone shouted from on deck, causing him to groan. When looked back at his Swan, her eyes were opening at looking at him with care.

“Would you accompany on shore, today?” He asked tentatively, trying to prepare for rejection.

“Yes.”

It felt like his heart was set afire.

~~~~

She was dressed in a long red dress that made him smile. He always loved her in red. Her cloak was hugged around her tight as he lead her through town. People were everywhere, blacksmiths and bar wenches, shopkeepers and villagers all alike.

Killian had been leading her in and out of shops all morning, she was mostly quiet. It was out of character but he welcomed her company, it was something he craved, like a drug. And for the first time in a year, he could openly enjoy it.

When they entered the apothecary, his eyes found the owner, his old friend. Her name was Red. Her long dark brown hair poked out from her deep red cloak.

“Hook! I haven’t seen you in ages!” She cried, quickly wrapping her arms around his neck before quickly ushering every customer out of the store for privacy. Emma turned her back and looked along the shelves while they talked.

“I know, I’ve been searching for something.” When he stressed his last word, she immediately understood.

“Is that her?” She whispered, obviously excited. She’d been waiting for years to meet the woman that captured her best friend’s heart. She knew of their small family, but Hook had always been protective and extremely careful when they were so close to the kingdom.

“Yes but--” He was quickly cut off by her shriek of “Emma!” Red dashed over and gathered the blonde, who looked horrified as she pulled herself away from Red roughly.

“Don’t touch me,” She growled before barrelling out of the shop, giving Killian the sharpest glare she could manage.

Red’s face was full of shock and worry as she looked to Killian, who was filled with guilt.

“She doesn’t remember a thing, me, us, our family..She lost a baby, our baby..” His words were small as he looked up at Red. She quickly gathered her best friend up in her arms. She may have been just a little mad that he didn’t speak to her this past year which filled her with worry, but in that moment she understood. He was heartbroken, and even when he found his love, she was still lost to him.

“You don’t deserve all this pain, Killy,” She whispered into his shirt. He stiffly nodded before mumbling a grateful thank you.

“Go spend some time with your son, I think you both need it.” She said with a sweet smile as she backed away. She knew her friend would be back.

When Killian left the shop, his heart felt like it was in his stomach, as he was on the search for his son.

Instead, his son found him.

“Da!” He’d shouted as he ran up to him, wrapping his arms around Killian’s waist. A smile rose on his face in his as he quickly ran his fingers through Henry’s brown hair, when his son backed away.

“Just the man I was looking for. I have an idea,” Killian grinned, pulling Henry toward the blacksmith.

“Really? What is it?” He asked excitedly. Henry hadn’t always been the excited and happy kid he was. He and Emma had found him when he was four, in an alley at one of their usual ports. He was dirty, crying, and starving. His mother had abandoned him early on, leaving him completely alone. They’d brought him back to the ship and gave him the biggest warmest meal they could provide, anything he wanted.

“We can do it, Emma. You’ll be an amazing mother. Can you imagine it? Me, you, Henry, the high seas!”

She smiled at him, “I’m most certainly not worried we couldn’t do it, Killian. You’d be an amazing father. But I’m worried.. I’m worried I can’t offer him everything he deserves.” Her worry was evident. But Killian just chuckled as he took her into his arms.

“Emma, he’s alone. We can give him a family.” Killian smiled, holding her arms in his hands.

Not even a moment later, she nodded eagerly. When Henry saw, he’d started to cry again. But this time it wasn’t from sadness, hunger or pain. It was pure happiness.

“I think it’s time for you to get a proper sword.” Killian said, excited to finally give his son his first blade.

“Really?!” Henry shouted, nearly jumping out of his skin in excitement. “Wait, I thought Mom said I had to wait until I was nine,” He said, breaking out the pout. As much as Henry loved his father, he was desperately a Momma’s boy (much to Emma’s excitement)

“Henry, I need someone to watch over your Mother when I can’t. You’re the only one I trust with this task. And I think you need a proper sword for the job. Don’t you think?” Killian asked, watching the gleaming in his son's eyes as he nodded with enthusiasm.

“Great, now lets go before it gets dark. I think you can convince your Mom to have dinner with you tonight if you bring out that world famous pout. She always breaks. So you don’t want to keep her waiting!” Suddenly his son broke out running toward the blacksmith, his laughter filling the air, and Killian breathed it in like it was all he’d ever need.

 


	4. Important Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS AN IMPORTANT NOTICE

It’s been a long time, I know. But I’d just like to say that this story will be getting a SERIOUS revamping. This are changing, be rewritten, and hopefully becoming a stronger better story for you all. There will be a few major changes for the sake of making the plot stronger, but overall this will be very similar to the original (though it won’t seem it, since we were only in the beginning chapters.) Emma has lost her memories, and Killian has to bring them back. But God damn, it won’t be easy.

Don’t worry though, the backbone of the story is still very same-- It’s just going to start in a different place and have much more details along with one big change, that involves Henry.

Since you all have been so patient, here is a teaser

* * *

**  
  
**

It’s been three days since they’d gotten their first clue that points toward Emma. Five years trapped in Neverland, one year at sea, and they’ve only come up with one clue. One from a drunken sailor at that.

“Emma? The pretty blonde thing? Yeah, I’ve seen her. She was here a fortnight ago, with a wee one. Said they were making their way to the Enchanted Forest, on some ship. Much past that, I haven’t a clue. Now what’s that I hear about a reward?”

Port was in sight at this point, and it was as though there was lead in Killian’s belly. He hasn’t seen Emma nor Henry in six years. His wife and child. That brought a pain he couldn’t even begin to understand. Killian was no stranger to grief, but his grief was usually for the dead, not the missing. Knowing they were out there, but have no idea that he was here, searching for them? It broke him in unimaginable ways.

The ship ported with ease, and Captain paid the fee, along with a heavy coinpurse for the Harbormaster to turn and look the other way. It was but a small price to pay. The crew were to begin restocking the Jolly Roger while Killian searches for more clues. He swore he wouldn’t leave this port until had another clue where his family was.

 


	5. New version of Princess at Sea to be posted (Check my profile for the story)

The new version of this story is being posted as we speak. It will be up within the next fifteen minutes. Hope you enjoy.


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